Everybody is wondering what Paris Hilton will be doing next, and hell, I'm wondering what she did before.
You'll never catch a nudist with his pants down. - David Letterman
You'll never catch a nudist with his pants down.
- David Letterman
Yesterday was Chinese New Year. It's the Year of the Rabbit. And here's how dumb I am. I'm still writing the Year of the Pig on my checks. - David Letterman
Yesterday was Chinese New Year. It's the Year of the Rabbit. And here's how dumb I am. I'm still writing the Year of the Pig on my checks.
Obesity is now a problem in the navy. They've created a new rank: Really Big Rear Admiral. - David Letterman
Obesity is now a problem in the navy. They've created a new rank: Really Big Rear Admiral.
The Japanese Prime Minister has apologized for Japan's part in World War II. However, he still hasn't mentioned anything about karaoke. - David Letterman
The Japanese Prime Minister has apologized for Japan's part in World War II. However, he still hasn't mentioned anything about karaoke.
Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late. - David Letterman
Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.
There just isn't enough televised Chess - David Letterman
There just isn't enough televised Chess
Unusual weather for New York City. Today it was 68 and foggy. No, wait a minute, that's me. I'm sorry, that's me. - David Letterman
Unusual weather for New York City. Today it was 68 and foggy. No, wait a minute, that's me. I'm sorry, that's me.
I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two. - David Letterman
I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.
Everyday is a compromise. - David Letterman
Everyday is a compromise.
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