You can't create a monster, then whine when it stomps on a few buildings.

- Yeardley Smith

It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV.

- Yeardley Smith

Being myself didn't work. Being someone else didn't work. Maybe I just wasn't meant to have friends.

- Yeardley Smith

A man who envies our family is a man who needs help.

- Yeardley Smith

Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.

- Yeardley Smith

Everybody sort of questioned why we get married on New Year's Day, and of course, the avid sports fans wouldn't come, because they had to watch the R…

- Yeardley Smith

Oh no, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican.

- Yeardley Smith

Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and Chinese food, but I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!.

- Yeardley Smith

Do you know what it's like to be the kind of girl that boys never talk to and then suddenly, a boy talks to you?

- Yeardley Smith