I, too, am going to go away soon,' she says, 'I am weary and weary of my weariness. Everything is beginning to be a little empty and full of leave-taking and melancholy and waiting.
Everything was usual. That was depression: being stuck, clinging to an out-of-date version of oneself.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Depression can feel like being trapped in an outdated version of oneself, unable to move forward.
In this quote, Edward St Aubyn captures the essence of depression as a state of stagnation where an individual feels disconnected from their current self and exists in a loop of past experiences that no longer serve them. The description of clinging to an 'out-of-date version' suggests that depression is not just about sadness, but also about a profound struggle with identity and progress, highlighting how difficult it can be to let go of who we used to be, even when it holds us back.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
This quote can be used in a mental health awareness talk to illustrate the struggle with depression.
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Everybody ages. Everybody dies. There is no turning back the clock. So the question in life becomes: What are you going to do while you're here
Now no joy but lacks salt That is not dashed with pain And weariness and fault; I crave the stain Of tears, the aftermark Of almost too much love, The sweet of bitter bark And burning clove.
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
My mind was bursting with depression and anguish. I muttered imprecations and murmuring as I passed along. I was full of loathing and abhorrence of life, and all that life carries in its train.