Why can't women get along? Because we're afraid. We're afraid to be vulnerable. We're afraid to be soft. We're afraid to be hurt. But most of all, we're afraid of our power. So we become controlling and aggressive and vicious.
Iyanla VanzantRead
Family is supposed to be our safe haven. Very often, it's the place where we find the deepest heartache.
Interpretation
Family is intended to offer comfort and support, but it can also be a source of pain.
This quote highlights the paradox of family life, where the very relationships meant to provide solace and security can sometimes lead to profound emotional hurt. It suggests that while families are meant to be a refuge, they can also create complicated feelings and conflicts that lead to deep heartache.
In practice
Use this quote in a speech about the complexities of family dynamics.
Why can't women get along? Because we're afraid. We're afraid to be vulnerable. We're afraid to be soft. We're afraid to be hurt. But most of all, we're afraid of our power. So we become controlling and aggressive and vicious.
Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now. When we face our challenges with faith, prepared to learn, willing to make changes, and if necessary, to let go, we are demanding our power be turned on.
Feminine power is silent, dark, mysterious, healing, nurturing. A woman can walk into a room and control it. She doesn't even have to open her mouth if she knows where her power is.
You know when I was 20 and 30, they were insecurities. Now they're just a new normal. I'm 60 years old, so my expectations of who I am and how I look and how I show up in the world had to shift. Not because I couldn't help it, or not because I did anything wrong, but because I had to get into the natural flow of my being as a woman.
Your greatest adversary is also your greatest teacher. Like it or not, it is the job of certain people to bring out the worst in you. What they trigger is already in you. They are here to reveal the sore, tender wounded places in your heart and mind, and they are providing you with a wonderful and divine opportunity for healing.
You have a right to say no. Most of us have very weak and flaccid 'no' muscles. We feel guilty for saying no. We get ostracized and challenged for saying no, so we forget it's our choice. Your 'no' muscle has to be built up to get to a place where you can say, 'I don't care if that's what you want. I don't want that. No.'
For me, at least, all of my career goals, all of my focus, everything just shifted and the importance was my children, and that's where all the joy came from as well.
Every day, at home, I have the astonishing and humbling opportunity - together with my wife Sophie - to nurture empathy, compassion, self-love, and a keen sense of justice in our three kids.
My mother was a full-time mother. She didn't have much of her own career, her own life, her own experiences... everything was for her children. I will never be as good a mother as she was. She was just grace incarnate. She was the most generous, loving - she's better than me.
With my family, I'm trying to raise them to have respect for all people and make friends around the world and feel at home with the world and really live a truly global life because I think it's what forms them and it's really important to me.
We grew up probably having as hard a life as anybody. A lot of times, we didn't have any food on the table. At Christmas, everybody else would always get something nice, but we'd get one T-shirt or one shirt... So I want to take care of Mom and Dad... and I'm having a damn good time doing it.
My daughter finished high school the same month I got my master's degree. I'm glad I didn't know when I gave birth to her at 21 what it would cost in terms of time, money and sacrifice to bring her to that graduation day.
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