My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
When you break life down, it's about 100% time management. - Dana Gould
When you break life down, it's about 100% time management.
- Dana Gould
Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake. - Dana Gould
Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack. - Dana Gould
Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy. - Dana Gould
I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother. - Dana Gould
If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail. - Dana Gould
You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.
Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you. - Dana Gould
Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
That which does not kill you isn't finished. - Dana Gould
That which does not kill you isn't finished.
Women are like pumpkins; you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife. - Dana Gould
Women are like pumpkins; you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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