My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet. - Alan King
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
- Alan King
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens? - Alan King
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat! - Alan King
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers. - Alan King
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback. - Alan King
It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books. - Alan King
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereot… - Alan King
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereot…
The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and theft." The lawyer… - Alan King
The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and theft." The lawyer…
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look. - Alan King
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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