I gave my father a heart attack. It was a practical joke. Come on, you push a guy's face in a cake he's got to clean it off. You hit a guy with a water balloon, he's got to dry off. Guy's in the hospital, you get his testicles shaved, he scratches and bleeds for a week... it's funny... you're not supposed to have a heart attack, it kills the joke.
And one more thing I want to be clear about - I know who I am. I am just a very thin layer of charming with some funny sprinkles wrapped around a hug… - Christopher Titus
And one more thing I want to be clear about - I know who I am. I am just a very thin layer of charming with some funny sprinkles wrapped around a hug…
- Christopher Titus
Here's the thing: If you're so far left you actually believe that somebody owes you a job, citizenship and a heart transplant, you're mentally ill. I… - Christopher Titus
Here's the thing: If you're so far left you actually believe that somebody owes you a job, citizenship and a heart transplant, you're mentally ill. I…
This country you're sitting in right now was not built on love, hugs, time-outs and trophies you didn't earn. This country was built on shame, humili… - Christopher Titus
This country you're sitting in right now was not built on love, hugs, time-outs and trophies you didn't earn. This country was built on shame, humili…
Nobody's really happy. And as soon as society realises that you can't trust anyone and that hardship is a natural part of existence, the sooner the t… - Christopher Titus
Nobody's really happy. And as soon as society realises that you can't trust anyone and that hardship is a natural part of existence, the sooner the t…
The normal make a living. The deranged make history. - Christopher Titus
The normal make a living. The deranged make history.
Normal people terrify me, because they haven't had enough problems in their life to know how to handle problems when they come up. Something little h… - Christopher Titus
Normal people terrify me, because they haven't had enough problems in their life to know how to handle problems when they come up. Something little h…
Being a parent is a life sentence. You see, that's why normal people should not have children because if you raise a kid with only love and support, … - Christopher Titus
Being a parent is a life sentence. You see, that's why normal people should not have children because if you raise a kid with only love and support, …
Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die. - Christopher Titus
Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.
Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant. - Christopher Titus
Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.
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