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A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!'

Lewis Black
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Lewis Black's Popular Quotes

When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.

- Lewis Black

In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twe…

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Since there are so many idiots out there, you may actually start to think you're crazy. You are not. They are idiots.

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I'm a happy person but an angry citizen.

- Lewis Black

Nyquil comes in two colors, red and green, and it's the only thing on the planet that tastes like red and green.

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That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone.

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I like my friends because they make me feel normal, even though I'm not.

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I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

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Stupid presidents, smart presidents, white presidents, black presidents - doesn't work! What this country needs is a crazy Third World dictator. And …

- Lewis Black
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