In the fifties I had dreams about touching a naked woman and she would turn to bronze or the dream about hot dogs chasing donuts through the Lincoln …

- Robert Klein

I'd walk into the school, smell that institutional smell of the tomato soup, peanut butter, disinfectant, and boys room. Pass the lunchroom, see the …

- Robert Klein

I have no statistics to prove it, but I'm sure the American workplace will be adversely affected on Monday, the day after XXIV. The game will be the …

- Robert Klein

I learned more at The Second City than I did at Yale for all that high tuition.

- Robert Klein

And the only studies were - Rodney Dangerfield was my mentor and he was my Yale drama school for comedy.

- Robert Klein

The `50s were terrifying with nuclear bomb stuff but boring in a social way and then the `60s were happening, and remember, there was no AIDS.

- Robert Klein

But I think the other is a little more like bullfighting, a little more daring and although I appreciate good acting and I liked being versatile my w…

- Robert Klein

In the book of things people more often do wrong than right, investing must certainly top the list, followed closely by wallpapering and eating artic…

- Robert Klein

I have a work-out regime; I am not a maniac. It sounds cliche, but stand-up comedy, doing a one-man show, helps keep me young, and yes, it is exhaust…

- Robert Klein