Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.
I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write… - Kristen Schaal
I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write…
- Kristen Schaal
All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground. - Kristen Schaal
All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground.
Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free. - Kristen Schaal
Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.
I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe. - Kristen Schaal
I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.
No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me. - Kristen Schaal
No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.
Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up. - Kristen Schaal
Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.
Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go. - Kristen Schaal
Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? - Kristen Schaal
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?
He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. … - Kristen Schaal
He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. …
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