I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

- Abe Lemons

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

- Abe Lemons

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.

- Abe Lemons

Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.

- Abe Lemons

We did have three go to the YMCA.

- Abe Lemons

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.

- Abe Lemons

You mean in the state?

- Abe Lemons

I don't have any tricky plays. I'd rather have tricky players.

- Abe Lemons

Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.

- Abe Lemons