When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now...once he opened the car door for me in the last four years - we were on the freeway at the time.
I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.' - Joan Rivers
I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
- Joan Rivers
If you laugh at it, you can deal with it. - Joan Rivers
If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
Life is a movie, and you're the star. Give it a happy ending. - Joan Rivers
Life is a movie, and you're the star. Give it a happy ending.
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it. - Joan Rivers
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better. - Joan Rivers
I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you. - Joan Rivers
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening. - Joan Rivers
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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