When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now...once he opened the car door for me in the last four years - we were on the freeway at the time.
If you laugh at it, you can deal with it. - Joan Rivers
If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.
- Joan Rivers
I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.' - Joan Rivers
I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening. - Joan Rivers
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it. - Joan Rivers
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better. - Joan Rivers
I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you. - Joan Rivers
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Life is a movie, and you're the star. Give it a happy ending. - Joan Rivers
Life is a movie, and you're the star. Give it a happy ending.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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