When we first got together, one of the things me and Judy had in common was a passion for the correct use of the apostrophe

- Richard Madeley

YOU'RE just humming with sexual energy! Is it the fabric? Is it wearing tights?

- Richard Madeley

That particular octopus committed suicide, didn't he? He stabbed himself with his own beak.

- Richard Madeley

Your short-term memory really is shot! It must drive you nuts!!

- Richard Madeley

IT'S funny. It doesn't work the other way round !

- Richard Madeley

WOMEN lie about sex. It doesn't matter how many partners she says she's had before you. She's lying.

- Richard Madeley