I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.

- Robert Morley

A party: one arrives long after it's started, and one's going to leave long before it's over.

- Robert Morley

The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel.

- Robert Morley

The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

- Robert Morley

The French are a logical people, which is one reason the English dislike them so intensely. The other is that they own France, a country which we hav…

- Robert Morley

If people take the trouble to cook, you should take the trouble to eat.

- Robert Morley

Show me the man who has enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore.

- Robert Morley

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret of happiness. Then if you're not a good mixer you can always fall back on your own company.

- Robert Morley

When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of the mess I am in now, he thought for a long time, and I didn't care much for his answer. '…

- Robert Morley