My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new.

- Roddy Piper

Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions.

- Roddy Piper

I was pissin' Vince McMahon off when the red on the back of your neck was diaper rash!

- Roddy Piper

You don't throw rocks at a man with a machine gun!

- Roddy Piper

I walk so fast, I talk so fast, I could turn the light off and be in bed before the room's dark.

- Roddy Piper

I'm the reason Hulk Hogan lost his hair.

- Roddy Piper

Sooner or later, everybody pays the Piper!

- Roddy Piper

I don't need to know how tough I am to know how tough I am.

- Roddy Piper

You'll find sympathy in the dictionary between sh*t and suicide.

- Roddy Piper