Baseball is dull only to dull minds.

- Red Barber

When I was in baseball and you went into the clubhouse, you didn't see ball players with curling irons.

- Red Barber

It's like apples and oranges, you can't compare it. It was just a matter of playing anyone who was breathing.

- Red Barber

When I'm talking to a large audience, I imagine that I'm talking to a single person.

- Red Barber

People see what they want to see.

- Red Barber

You have to be as fully prepared for the dull game as you are for the great game, or else you won't be prepared for the great one.

- Red Barber

This is Red Barber speaking. Let me say hello to you all.

- Red Barber

Writing is easy. Just sit down and open a vein.

- Red Barber

Whenever you have a tight situation and there's a close pitch, the umpire gets a squawk no matter how he calls it.

- Red Barber