Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.'

- Kate Clinton

Gays have always been in the military. Alexander the Great was originally Alexander the Fabulous. A gay man invented C-rations. He claims he could ne…

- Kate Clinton

Of all sports, football seems to be the most sanctioned homosocial opportunity for straight men to be with each other, pat butts, struggle, strive, a…

- Kate Clinton

[On Nancy Reagan:] At one photo op press conference, she toured a crack house and decried how awful it was, yet one suspected that for our Drug Czari…

- Kate Clinton

Laughter takes the tyranny of the lies we are told and told and told and it blows them apart.

- Kate Clinton

Whenever a woman describes herself as a 'post-feminist' I picture women lashed to posts. Joan of Arc was an early post-feminist.

- Kate Clinton

[On being lesbian:] One pointer: don't come out to your dad in a moving vehicle.

- Kate Clinton

Lesbian humor isn't trying to sell anything, it doesn't have to sell out. Coming out as a lesbian onstage is still a very political act; if it weren'…

- Kate Clinton

I'm really happy that I was raised Catholic because it's given me years of material.

- Kate Clinton