My girlfriend said: 'If you loved me you wouldn't drink so much', I said: 'If I didn't drink so much I probably wouldn't love you'.

- Gary Mule Deer

It has been proven that more Americans watch television than any other appliance.

- Gary Mule Deer

My granddad used to say, If everybody liked the same thing, they'd all be after your grandma.

- Gary Mule Deer