Girls, do yourself a favor, don't ever bring us anywhere to pick anything out - ever, ever. You don't need us there.

- Jim Breuer

You tell your guy friends you got engaged, it's like hearing someone died. 'What happened man? Wow. He was so young, man. What happened? He had his w…

- Jim Breuer

Why do we hide all the bullshit? Life is life. Why hide it?

- Jim Breuer

You can stump any stoner with one question: What were we just talking about?

- Jim Breuer

I consider myself a modern-day dad, where I still got rock'n'roll in me, but yet I take being a parent and relationships very seriously in life. I'm …

- Jim Breuer