I write the story that nobody reads. Someday, I'm going to write it in German to see if anyone notices.

- Rick Reilly

Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.

- Rick Reilly

College football is LSU's Tiger Stadium at night.

- Rick Reilly

There's never been a finer man in American sports than John Wooden, or a finer coach.

- Rick Reilly

I was a terrible Sugar Babies addict, so I had more cavities than the surface of the moon.

- Rick Reilly

Im afraid Wisconsin is you, Nebraska, only with much better parties and more wins.

- Rick Reilly

A man is more than his failings.

- Rick Reilly

The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.

- Rick Reilly

Maybe I'm just getting old, but I remember when your average NFL player would come to the sideline, spit out three bicuspids, Scotch-tape his humerus…

- Rick Reilly