Mindy Kaling gets her own line in the acknowledgments, as previously negotiated by her representatives. Thanks, Mindy. I love you and you're the best.

- B. J. Novak

Travel is impossible, but daydreaming about travel is easy.

- B. J. Novak

If people are well paid for reality television and cotton candy and dunking a basketball, why can't they be well paid for changing young minds?

- B. J. Novak

I wanted to be a writer first, and I struck out in the world to be a writer first, and then found stand-up as a more creative outlet, as a 3D way to …

- B. J. Novak

Perfect. Why was this so hard to find?”The other type of perfect is the type you never could have expected and then could never replicate.

- B. J. Novak

It's not always enough to be brave, I realized years later. You have to be brave and contribute something positive, too. Brave on its own is just a p…

- B. J. Novak

Regret is just perfectionism plus time.

- B. J. Novak

Good comics gravitate to each other; you know who's your type of person by watching them onstage, hopefully.

- B. J. Novak

Nobody remembers how long anything takes; they only remember how good it was in the end.

- B. J. Novak