When there's a good fit between skills and expectations, there's what we call compatibility, and we would expect a good outcome. When there's a poor fit between expectations and the capacity of the kid, there is incompatibility, and that's when we see people exhibit challenging behavior.
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Challenging behavior is just a signal, the fever, the means by which the kid is communicating that he or she is having difficulty meeting an expectation.
My advice to educators is collaborate with parents; they know a lot about their kids.
You're your kid's partner, not the person who's pulling all the strings.
Being completely in control is a fantasy.
We have forgotten that those skills on the more positive side of human nature have to be taught, have to be modeled, have to be practiced.
It's a whole lot more productive to be in problem-solving mode than it is to be in behavior modification mode.
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