Allen's Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.

- Paul Dickson

May you look back on the past with as much pleasure as you look forward to the future.

- Paul Dickson

Airplane Law, The: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

- Paul Dickson

The more innocuous the name of a weapon, the more hideous its impact. Some of the most horrific weapons of the Vietnam era were named Bambi, Infant, …

- Paul Dickson

Abbott's Admonitions: (1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know. (2) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.

- Paul Dickson

The great comfort of turning forty-nine is the realization that you are now too old to die young.

- Paul Dickson

No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can always be used as a bad example.

- Paul Dickson

The odds are six to five that the light in the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train.

- Paul Dickson

Accuracy, Rule of, Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.

- Paul Dickson