Balancing the budget is like going to heaven. Everybody wants to do it, but nobody wants to do what you have to do to get there.

- Phil Gramm

Half the world does not know the joy of wearing cotton underwear.

- Phil Gramm

If I brought groceries the way I buy health insurance, I'd eat a lot better - and so would my dog.

- Phil Gramm

There's one form of bigotry that is still acceptable in America - that's the bigotry against the successful.

- Phil Gramm

I own more shotguns than I need. But less shotguns than I want.

- Phil Gramm

I'm carrying so much pork, I'm beginning to get trichinosis.

- Phil Gramm

We're the only nation in the world where most of our poor people are fat.

- Phil Gramm

Government is not the generator of economic growth; working people are.

- Phil Gramm

We're going to keep building the party until we're hunting Democrats with dogs.

- Phil Gramm