My gym has two-pound weights. If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym? What's your dream? To pump up and open your mail?
Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? "Damn I got to get the hell out of here!" "What was I thinking!" - Dave Attell
Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? "Damn I got to get the hell out of here!" "What was I thinking!"
- Dave Attell
Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away. - Dave Attell
Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.
You know what wakes me up? A tongue in the ass. There is no alarm clock on that one, you are up, you are shaking, you are in a karate stance.....the … - Dave Attell
You know what wakes me up? A tongue in the ass. There is no alarm clock on that one, you are up, you are shaking, you are in a karate stance.....the …
Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape. - Dave Attell
Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.
So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly 'cause my dad used to beat me with a globe. - Dave Attell
So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly 'cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.
The more Discovery Channel you watch, the less chance you have of ever meeting a woman. Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out a… - Dave Attell
The more Discovery Channel you watch, the less chance you have of ever meeting a woman. Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out a…
Sparklers are the gay cousins of the fireworks family. - Dave Attell
Sparklers are the gay cousins of the fireworks family.
You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. "Land mine '69." You see a guy with one arm, he's got a story, too. "Snow blower, bottle of whiskey." Y… - Dave Attell
You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. "Land mine '69." You see a guy with one arm, he's got a story, too. "Snow blower, bottle of whiskey." Y…
Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas. - Dave Attell
Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.
Login to join the discussion
Login to join the discussion