Perfume companies ought to bottle the smell of crisp bacon. Forget pheromones. I’ll bet a woman with a little spot of bacon grease behind her ears wo…

- Blaize Clement

They say God never gives us more than we can handle, but sometimes I think God has overestimated what I can take.

- Blaize Clement

Heads of warring nations could learn a lot about how to achieve lasting peace by watching dogs and cats who live in the same house.

- Blaize Clement

I always see to the dogs first and leave the cats and the occasional birds and rabbits and hamsters for later. It isn't that I play favorites, it's j…

- Blaize Clement

Being young is easy, you know, but it takes guts to be old.

- Blaize Clement

August in Florida is God's way of reminding us who's in charge.

- Blaize Clement

Protecting people from the truth is another way of shutting them out.

- Blaize Clement

My pet-sitting day ends around sunset, and it's very satisfying to know that I've made several living beings happy that day. That I left their food b…

- Blaize Clement

I love the unabashed over-buttered, over-creamed, deep-fried, gooey, over-sugared excessiveness of Amish food.

- Blaize Clement