If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up.

- Barry Humphries

I drift along, thinking about the past a great deal. The past is so reliable, so delightful, and the best place to live. I end up there quite often, …

- Barry Humphries

To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one's mother.

- Barry Humphries

Sport is a loathsome and dangerous pursuit.

- Barry Humphries

The truth is deafening, no matter how softly it is spoken.

- Barry Humphries

Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.

- Barry Humphries

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.

- Barry Humphries

I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.

- Barry Humphries

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia

- Barry Humphries