At eighty things do not occur; they recur.

- Alan Bennett

One of the hardest things for boys to learn is that a teacher is human. One of the hardest things for a teacher to learn is not to try and tell them.

- Alan Bennett

Cloisters, ancient libraries ... I was confusing learning with the smell of cold stone.

- Alan Bennett

I have never understood disliking for war. It panders to instincts already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.

- Alan Bennett

The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and…

- Alan Bennett

Books are not about passing time. They're about other lives. Other worlds. Far from wanting time to pass, one just wishes one had more of it. If one …

- Alan Bennett

There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world. Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale is diminished…

- Alan Bennett

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.

- Alan Bennett

Sometimes there is no next time, no time-outs, no second chances. Sometimes it’s now or never.

- Alan Bennett