Hollywood - it's either people who are unhappy or soon will be.

- Jonathan Ross

It's not whether you win or lose, it's how many people remember you when you die.

- Jonathan Ross

More action packed than a Cardiff pub with Anne Robinson.

- Jonathan Ross

Look at Abi Titmuss. This year she's been tied to more bed posts than David Blunkett's guide dog.

- Jonathan Ross

Fortunately, this is not something that we see a lot of. Very rarely do you see a dog in this terrible shape from starvation. People just aren't that…

- Jonathan Ross