"Have you done your homework?" my mother would ask. "I'll do it later." "You will do it now, young man. I don't want you winding up on the third shift at Flagg-Utica." Flagg-Utica was a local textile plant. Somehow, I never could figure how failing to read three chapters in my geography book about the various sorts of vegetation to be found in a tropical rain forest had anything to do with facing a life as a mill hand. But with enough guilt and fear as catalysts, you can read anything, even geography books and Deuteronomy.
There's no such thing as being too Southern. - Lewis Grizzard
There's no such thing as being too Southern.
- Lewis Grizzard
In the south there's a difference between 'Naked' and 'Nekkid.' 'Naked' means you don't have any clothes on. 'Nekkid' means you don't have any clothe… - Lewis Grizzard
In the south there's a difference between 'Naked' and 'Nekkid.' 'Naked' means you don't have any clothes on. 'Nekkid' means you don't have any clothe…
"Have you done your homework?" my mother would ask. "I'll do it later." "You will do it now, young man. I don't want you winding up on the third shif… - Lewis Grizzard
"Have you done your homework?" my mother would ask. "I'll do it later." "You will do it now, young man. I don't want you winding up on the third shif…
I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence. - Lewis Grizzard
I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity. - Lewis Grizzard
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing. - Lewis Grizzard
Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.
It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato. - Lewis Grizzard
It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month. - Lewis Grizzard
It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.
The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and… - Lewis Grizzard
The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and…
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