Honey, that Totie Fields is one well-fed white woman. When that gal sits around the house, she sits around the house!

- Moms Mabley

The teenagers aren't all bad. I love 'em if nobody else does. There ain't nothing wrong with young people. Jus' quit lyin' to 'em.

- Moms Mabley

A woman is a woman until the day she dies, but a man's man only as long as he can

- Moms Mabley

[On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it.

- Moms Mabley

Anytime you see me with my arms around an old man, I'm holding him for the police.

- Moms Mabley

Black women, white women- all of them. I'm colorblind. I don't know the difference. I only know you're a human being and you're my children.

- Moms Mabley

Love is like playing checkers. You have to know which man to move.

- Moms Mabley

If you don't want your children to know the truth about life don't send 'em to the theater to see Moms 'cause I'm gonna tell them THE TRUTH, hear?

- Moms Mabley

Ain't nothin' an ol' man can do but bring me a message from a young one.

- Moms Mabley