When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.
This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys. - Art Buchwald
This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys.
- Art Buchwald
I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place? - Art Buchwald
I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week - Art Buchwald
Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week
Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and ma… - Art Buchwald
Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and ma…
If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it. - Art Buchwald
If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.
The best things in life aren't things. - Art Buchwald
The best things in life aren't things.
I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class. - Art Buchwald
I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, "I am not a crook." Jimmy Carter says, "I have lusted after women in my heart." Presi… - Art Buchwald
Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, "I am not a crook." Jimmy Carter says, "I have lusted after women in my heart." Presi…
I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team. - Art Buchwald
I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.
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