If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.
Well, sanity, I suppose, is getting people to see the world your way. - Paul Merton
Well, sanity, I suppose, is getting people to see the world your way.
- Paul Merton
At one point in the mid-Eighties I shared a promoter with the Smiths. One night, we were sitting backstage when Morrissey burst in, utterly distraugh… - Paul Merton
At one point in the mid-Eighties I shared a promoter with the Smiths. One night, we were sitting backstage when Morrissey burst in, utterly distraugh…
If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't do… - Paul Merton
If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't do…
It seems like a contradiction, but the shy person who is a performer actually does make sense, because in a way, when you're young and shy, making pe… - Paul Merton
It seems like a contradiction, but the shy person who is a performer actually does make sense, because in a way, when you're young and shy, making pe…
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is… - Paul Merton
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is…
My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I stood yelling down the alley while you're… - Paul Merton
My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I stood yelling down the alley while you're…
My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years. - Paul Merton
My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.
On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't, he said: Do you mind if I mug you here? - Paul Merton
On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't, he said: Do you mind if I mug you here?
The thing about improvisation is that it's not about what you say. It's listening to what other people say. It's about what you hear. - Paul Merton
The thing about improvisation is that it's not about what you say. It's listening to what other people say. It's about what you hear.
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