If 10% is good enough for Jesus, it oughta be enough for Uncle Sam.

- Ray Stevens

They call him the Streak, he likes to turn the other cheek. He's always making the news, wearing just his tennis shoes.

- Ray Stevens

Osama, yo Mama didn't raise you right. When you were young, she must have wrapped your turban too tight.

- Ray Stevens

I had no idea that I could sustain a career as an artist. But, I loved music and wanted to be in the music business.

- Ray Stevens

George Jones may be gone but his music will live on forever. What a great voice and a great friend.

- Ray Stevens

People will remember a good comedy song a lot longer than they would some of the so-called straight love songs.

- Ray Stevens

I'm a terrible trumpet player...

- Ray Stevens

Take the wonder drug that cures all your ills, take Jeremiah Peabody's polyunsaturated, quick dissolving, fast acting, pleasant tasting, green and pu…

- Ray Stevens

Whatever you think, don't never, unless you will.

- Ray Stevens