I, as you may know, am no stranger to the organic courgette, but I still cannot work out who these gay footballers are.

- Julian Clary

I live in a kind of gay bubble. I live in a gay house, I drive a gay car. I eat gay food

- Julian Clary

However light-hearted you try to be about it, the loss of youth, and everything that goes with it, is quite a trauma.

- Julian Clary

I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as I do from a joke

- Julian Clary

My dresser and I have the hots for the new rugby ace Danny Cipriani. We have a shrine in my dressing room - press photos of him on the field looking …

- Julian Clary

I knew that this was what I wanted to talk about on stage. There was no point being coy about it, or pretending that I wasn't gay. That was the subst…

- Julian Clary

Just because someone's dead doesn't mean it's over. My grandfather died more than 25 years ago, but I still think of him a lot and smell his smell.

- Julian Clary

The English like eccentrics. They just don't like them living next door.

- Julian Clary

The bullying was hideous and relentless, and we turned it round by making ourselves celebrities.

- Julian Clary