I don't want to be the one to break it to you, but the future ain't that funny.
Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble. - Albert Brooks
Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.
- Albert Brooks
Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch. - Albert Brooks
Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.
Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender. - Albert Brooks
Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.
I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters. - Albert Brooks
I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters.
When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up. - Albert Brooks
When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.
If anything happens to me, tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they'll have to reevaluate me. - Albert Brooks
If anything happens to me, tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they'll have to reevaluate me.
Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? - Albert Brooks
Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?
I got so good at writing to a budget, my brain was restricting myself. I'd write, "It's a stormy night." Then I'd cross out stormy. I'd write: "It's … - Albert Brooks
I got so good at writing to a budget, my brain was restricting myself. I'd write, "It's a stormy night." Then I'd cross out stormy. I'd write: "It's …
A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts! - Albert Brooks
A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!
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