I feel like dying when I'm helpless

- Stan Laurel

If any of you cry at my funeral I'll never speak to you again.

- Stan Laurel

I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

- Stan Laurel

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be led.

- Stan Laurel

Humor is the truth; wit is an exaggeration of the truth.

- Stan Laurel

If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.

- Stan Laurel