Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

- Will Ferrell

Aren't we all striving to be overpaid for what we do?

- Will Ferrell

No matter how much you screw up your own life by the wrong decisions that you make, it's never too late to do the right thing and change your ways an…

- Will Ferrell

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

- Will Ferrell

If you ain't first, you're last!

- Will Ferrell

If no-one comes from the future to stop doing it, then how bad of a decision can it really be?

- Will Ferrell

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

- Will Ferrell

We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

- Will Ferrell

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

- Will Ferrell