Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

- Dov Davidoff

Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.

- Dov Davidoff

I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.

- Dov Davidoff

I don't know about you, but I like to fall in love on Mondays. This way if things go south right away you still have the weekend.

- Dov Davidoff

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

- Dov Davidoff

The expectation of happiness creates a lot of unhappiness.

- Dov Davidoff

If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.

- Dov Davidoff

If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.

- Dov Davidoff

Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.

- Dov Davidoff