Pope John Paul would be more popular if he called himself Pope John Paul George and Ringo.

- Paul Krassner

People don’t like to be lectured to, but if you can make them laugh, their defenses come down, and for the time being they’ve accepted whatever truth…

- Paul Krassner

English is my second language. Laughter is my first.

- Paul Krassner

Avoid internalizing society's sexism, racism, ageism - pick an ism, any ism.

- Paul Krassner

As long as the government can arbitrarily decide which substances are legal and which are illegal, then those who remain behind bars for illegal subs…

- Paul Krassner

I think [audiences are] more aware now of the contradictions in mainstream culture, the phony piety that permeates society, the inhumane hypocrisy.

- Paul Krassner

Watch yourself as though you were observing a Martian.

- Paul Krassner

I had become an atheist at the age of thirteen, when atomic bombs were dropped on Japan.

- Paul Krassner

For years, reality has been nipping at the heels of satire. Now, it's finally caught up. I don't need to make this stuff up.

- Paul Krassner