Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form.

- Shelley Berman

We teach reading, writing and math by [having students do] them. But we teach democracy by lecture.

- Shelley Berman

My whole act is confession.

- Shelley Berman

If you've never met a student from the University of Chicago, I'll describe him to you. If you give him a glass of water, he says, 'This is a glass o…

- Shelley Berman

A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business.

- Shelley Berman

The most unusual salesman I ever met is a fellow who made a modest fortune purveying lightning rods. But he suddenly lost interest in his work. He go…

- Shelley Berman

The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so.

- Shelley Berman

I heard the other day of a man who paid a psychologist $50 to cure him of an inferiority complex - and later was fined $25 and costs for talking back…

- Shelley Berman

I am careful with my material and presentation.

- Shelley Berman