If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.
Interpretation
This quote humorously suggests that someone's face is making false accusations against them.
Terry Pratchett's quote uses wit to highlight the irony of self-deprecation, implying that one's own appearance can unjustly damage their reputation or invite ridicule. It plays on the idea that the visible mistakes or traits of our appearance can lead to judgment or misinterpretation by others, in a tongue-in-cheek manner, encouraging a light-hearted approach to self-image.
In practice
This quote can be used in a comedy routine to lighten the mood about self-image.
And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done...which proves that you can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions.
They've got something they do it with, I think it's called a mocracy, and it means everyone in the whole country can say who the new Tyrant is. One man ... one vet. ... Everyone has ... the vet. Except for women, of course. And children. And criminals. And slaves. And stupid people. And people of foreign extraction. And people disapproved of for, er, various reasons. And lots of other people. But everyone apart from them. It's a very enlightened civilization.
Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.
You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.
Any fool could be a witch with a runic knife, but it took skill to be one with an apple corer.
People look down on stuff like geography and meteorology, and not only because they're standing on one and being soaked by the other. They don't look quite like real science. But geography is only physics slowed down and with a few trees stuck on it, and meteorology is full of excitingly fashionable chaos and complexity. And summer isn't a time. It's a place as well. Summer is a moving creature and likes to go south for the winter.
I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'
There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage.
When you are honest in your comedy, you have to acknowledge the world that you're in. Through a comedic voice, you're talking about what needs to be talked about, whether it's race relations or politics or anything that's happening on a global or an American scale.
A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.
A brown spotted lady-bug climbed the dizzy height of a grass blade, and Tom bent down close to it and said, "Lady-bug, lady-bug, fly away home, your house is on fire, your children's alone," and she took wing and went off to see about it -- which did not surprise the boy, for he knew of old that this insect was credulous about conflagrations, and he had practised upon its simplicity more than once.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
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