If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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