I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.
You throw your best punch, otherwise don't do it. - Don Rickles
You throw your best punch, otherwise don't do it.
- Don Rickles
I never could tell a joke. I just started talking to the audience, and when the drunks would yell, "Hey, when do the broads come on?" I got good at s… - Don Rickles
I never could tell a joke. I just started talking to the audience, and when the drunks would yell, "Hey, when do the broads come on?" I got good at s…
Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black. - Don Rickles
Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.
When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last. - Don Rickles
When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.
I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room. - Don Rickles
I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.
Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera. - Don Rickles
Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.
Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? - Don Rickles
Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?
When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket. - Don Rickles
When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.
No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you. - Don Rickles
No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.
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