The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
There's no such thing as being too Southern. - Lewis Grizzard
There's no such thing as being too Southern.
- Lewis Grizzard
In the south there's a difference between 'Naked' and 'Nekkid.' 'Naked' means you don't have any clothes on. 'Nekkid' means you don't have any clothe… - Lewis Grizzard
In the south there's a difference between 'Naked' and 'Nekkid.' 'Naked' means you don't have any clothes on. 'Nekkid' means you don't have any clothe…
I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence. - Lewis Grizzard
I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.
Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing. - Lewis Grizzard
Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity. - Lewis Grizzard
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
"Have you done your homework?" my mother would ask. "I'll do it later." "You will do it now, young man. I don't want you winding up on the third shif… - Lewis Grizzard
"Have you done your homework?" my mother would ask. "I'll do it later." "You will do it now, young man. I don't want you winding up on the third shif…
It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato. - Lewis Grizzard
It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and… - Lewis Grizzard
The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and…
It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month. - Lewis Grizzard
It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.
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