Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips.

- John Wagner

If each day is a gift, I'd like to know where to return Mondays!

- John Wagner

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.

- John Wagner

Thanks to the invention of the telescope, planets that are 100 billion miles away look to be only 50 billion miles away.

- John Wagner

I guess sometimes you just have to fight your battles.

- John Wagner

There's a thrill in going someplace you aren't supposed to go. The place should come down.

- John Wagner