I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh…

- Paul Lynde

If I'm not working, I don't know what to do.

- Paul Lynde

I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I always pour wine from that.

- Paul Lynde

Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?

- Paul Lynde

I'm Liberace without a piano.

- Paul Lynde

Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!

- Paul Lynde

A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.

- Paul Lynde

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.

- Paul Lynde

My body may have been abused, but it certainly hasn't been neglected.

- Paul Lynde