I'm obsessed with beards. First of all, beards make you look like more of an animal. Second, I kind of like biting beards; it's a pastime of mine. And when I make out with a dude who has a beard - who are the only kinds of dudes I make out with - then my glitter gets stuck in their beards, and then no other chick will make out with them for at least three days.
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