I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like... well, Eichmann maybe.

- Jack Benny

I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now.

- Jack Benny

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

- Jack Benny

I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.

- Jack Benny

When you talk about the world's greatest entertainer you have to say Al Jolson because there was no one like him. Only Judy Garland and perhaps Frank…

- Jack Benny

Any man who would walk five miles through the snow, barefoot, just to return a library book so he could save three cents - that's my kind of guy.

- Jack Benny

Gags die, humor doesn't.

- Jack Benny

I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs.

- Jack Benny

When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it.

- Jack Benny