I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!
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At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.
No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.
Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.
I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.
Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.
I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can.
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